A Brutal Life Update

Well well well.

What a crazy 6 months I’ve had. I’m about to be very open with you.

I got a new job in April. It was wonderful…better pay, more hours, amazing benefits. Then they bought out another company just a few weeks into my employment and my work doubled, my social life became practically nonexistent, and I stopped taking care of myself. The stress became nearly unbearable when I took over the department. I was slowly getting the hang of things but was still finding the stress hard to manage after a couple months, so I began going to a therapist to help me. This was a job I liked despite how hard it was, and I wanted to do better. A month after I started therapy, I was let go from my job completely unexpectedly. I was given a few reasons for it, but I know the real reasons. I don’t want to get into them, but they strongly misunderstood me and apparently decided to let me go instead of talking to me.

It’s been over two weeks now. I was really, really upset about it at first. I guess it was a good thing I was already going to therapy. Now I’m bitter. I see more of the overall picture now and feel that they were really wrong, ignorant, and inconsiderate in their decision. It wasn’t even a good business decision. I’ve never been let go before and it was a big blow to my ego, but I’m confident enough in my work ethic and the situation to know they were wrong. They claimed they were reorganizing the department and were at least nice enough to say my job was eliminated so I could get unemployment…but whatever helps them sleep at night.

Losing the job was also a blessing in disguise. After starting therapy, I learned a LOT about myself. A lot of issues I’ve been struggling with for years are all related to one event that happened early in my childhood. It’s something I should have gotten help for a long time ago, but I didn’t realize the impact it had on me. The job was a big distraction from working on my problems, plus I wasn’t taking care of myself…I was barely eating or sleeping, and I rarely thought of anything other than work. Now that I’m home all the time, I’m cooking regularly again, I’m sleeping a bit better, and I’m able to take time for myself. The therapy has led me into a very deep dark hole of sadness and depression; I was told that it would get hard before it got easier. “The night is darkest just before the dawn.” But I’m getting there.

I’m not saying all this to bring you down; I promise I’m slowly starting to do better. I’m working on a lot of projects that keep me occupied and make me feel productive (embroidery, jigsaw puzzles, I have a children’s comic in the works). My current big project is reopening my Etsy store; I’ve renamed it and will be designing, creating, and selling small, simple cross stitch/embroidery pieces. I’ve already got a few designs drawn out, I just have to get some supplies and make them! I LOVE the new name though. A lot of the pieces will be really nerdy (Doctor Who, Zelda, Mario, Star Wars, Twin Peaks) so I spent a couple hours brainstorming random words having to do with fiber art that I could combine with something geeky to get a cute name. I had a few very good ones, but when I came up with the one I ended up choosing, it was no contest. I have renamed my shop Fiber, Walk with Me. I’m super excited about ittttt. I’ll let you know as I post things to it.

This entry is pretty much a novella now. I’m hoping to keep up with this blog more now that I have a lot more spare time on my hands. Especially now that I’m actually embracing that spare time.

Until next time!